HATE ME ALRIGHT, HATE ME FOR ALL YOU CARE MR SU MING YE. I WONT GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE. I WONT FEEL BAD ABOUT IT EVER AGAIN. SO WHAT! PUI!

;i am afraid


actually had 2 detentions on both yesterday and the day before. was late but i skipped them anyway. nobody cares. (:

happy birthday to ming ye on the 26th of july, which is yesterday. i was too tired to blog as i waited for his call. i felt my heart sinking when he put down the phone, my first thought was...

is this really what i want? i still have no idea. im sorry. i really am. i wanted to bring everything down, further and not that painful but it turned out harsh. its all my fault, hate me.

he calls me every night no matter what. and now, i will still wait. for he is so dear, not like normal friends. more like a brother.

days went on. bad decisions were made, happy moments did come but i dont know how i can handle them. the time you got to know everything was wrong, you wouldnt know how to react and vice versa. why is life so fucked up? made me not wanna trust people so easily and crappers appear outta nowhere trying to pull you down to hell. made me see life as a dread. oh forget it, i'll stop.

choir on tuesday was bullshit, mrs C had to show her siao attitude at us for nothing! wtf's with that? we dont owe her a single cent alright. shes giving those ass crap talks and wanted her shoes to fly right in our face but at least held back. arghs! i kept the anger in me to myself, smile all i can and felt like watching her fall down for a moment real badly. arghs! talking about it makes me sick.

finish watching '霍元甲' on wednesday and i like cried in class. -.- alot were telling me bout the lousy and uninteresting story line it has, all the wushu and stuff like that which is, not at all true. i, in my view thinks it is quite a inspirational movie, which tells people who think they are actually superman or superwoman to wake up and think. it aint gonna work that way. aiyah too many comments. should stop. =p

the good news for today:

i'm not late!! =D

thats a good enough news, to start the day in a good way. haha! rubbish.

bad news:

i broke a glass funnel during chemistry and i didnt tell mr tan ah liong. =p

watched narnia during LCD today and its kinda nice. who got the vcd leh?

leh long leh long~

(:

english period was a dread, the relief teacher actually wrote 'keep quiet' on the board and expect us to see. he should really shout like damn loud, it does work. fell asleep and was on my mp3 when mrs song came in and i couldnt hear her waking me up. syuffuddin almost strangle me as i was too dead asleep. everyone was looking at me. =/ -.-

went over to cwp to get the materials for farewell party on 1 august @ 430pm, music room. choir seniors please take note.

browsed almost every other gift shop and bookstore but nothing was found. either it wasnt suitable or too costly. comics, more then words, popular, gift a name, cold storage, mini toons and cards n' such. nothing. back to comics after that to beg the SHUAI GE UNCLE to help us look for suitable ones and he did by calling the main office for stock. they did have it.
you are welcome lah uncle. (:

P.S.
my mp3 is found thanks to angela 大姐 and ah teck 大哥 for taking care of it for me. haha!


愛一直沒走
愛一直在我們眼前展開
我會記得
你所有的一切
雖然我真的不明白
當初為甚麼愛上你
可是
我已經不想明白了
你離開的時候
我曾經掩面痛哭
我以為我這一輩子都沒辦法再愛了
我以為
我就要乾枯了
我以為那一天後自己已經在愛情裡死亡

我一直沒有忘記你
並不是因為我現在還愛你
而是因為你教會了我愛
而是因為我從你不懂的愛我的身影裡
學會了下一次愛人

mr su ming zheng gonna treat me ben&jerry's tomorrow!! yea!!

;i am afraid


I LOST MY MP3!! HOW? ANYONE HELP! ANYONE SEEN MY MP3 AROUND? PLEASE RETURN IT TO ME!!

):

;i am afraid


woke up around 3pm. stayed home, did nothing and missed him somehow.

reach home kinda late the night before. sorry for not having photos. =p

went over to marina for steamboat as its ming ye and eh... i forgot her name's birthday. i was late again. people were waiting for me like as always. cant blame sam for being angry already. =/

got on the mrt around 7plus and they were fooling around. stupid guo wei say i look china and jeffery was acting gay. there was this other guy who keep saying the hard gay 'Okay', like me! HAHA! got to know the birthday girl and another girl called Felicia. shes a mixed blood, damn pretty.

okay~ ! (:

had to wait for ah di when we reach there and chat with ming zheng then i tried the china accent. jeffery and guowei heard me then they start this stupid conversation, which i dont really know what they talking about. i just keep laughing. hehe.

walked for quite awhile before we can really settle down. the venue was 镇发活海鲜 'zhen fa huo hai xian'. food was okay, had 2 person to serve me. so nice of them to. =p

i got kinda sick cos the stupid smoke kept blowing in my face, had stomachaches and ming zheng brought me to the arcade nearby to have some fresh air, but to my surprise, the arcade was as well crowded. at least without the smoke lah. haha. played time crisis with him and i kept dying in the game, kinda sucked so all the tokens were used by me and got comments like im very tomboy cos i took off my heels when playing. sorry leh! argh.

set off to the kopitiam near their house along with jeffery after that and they started chatting in thai, hakka, canto and hokkien! which i can only understand hokkien! make me catch no ball. -.- so anyway, mingye's uncle was also there along with his friend so they ask me stupid stuff like how old i am and stuff like that. keep making me think he is some bad guy. LOL. on the other hand, all of them except for me, ming zheng and their uncle was drunk and sprouting nonsense which i have totally no idea what the hell the mumbling bout.

ming zheng halt a nice cab for me home around 2am. (: which the uncle was real nice, watch me go up the lift in his car and told me to use weapons like key or makeup.


i think i've found my new best friend...

and met the only one who gives me the same feeling after my spiderman...
is it really you? i just hope its all true.

;i am afraid


momma away for the 1st day. NOBODY WAKE ME UP LORH!

aiyah anyway, today's a fun day i suppose. missed some of the fun during due to not wearing the attire. i mean, who cares right. =p

mr ben got kicked in the eye (ouch*) by miss almighty toa xiaolin of 3n2. wahaha! and haiqal was changing beside me, with boxers on of course. -.- he went on just as normal, i wonder how he did that and while he asked me how he could surprise his gf, i had this question crossing my mind.

why is he the first person i know doing this? and not for me somemore. tsk tsk. ding dong! obviously the wrong bf choices in the past. =/

the rest of the periods were just going away like how time did. school is... typical. dont expect alot from it alright.

tried china accent with emilene jie, xiao rui jie and stella. they were exclaiming that i sound just like it and really made me regret trying to mimick. the reason was probably due to the fact that i just hate it when people say i look china. most people gave remarks like that and its driving me nuts!

how in the hell and in what freaking way do i look like them? me being a chinese doesnt refer to me must look china! i've had enough! so dont ever say that in my face or else... ? or else lorh. let you know then is not or else liao okay. xD

pretty late for tuition. forget the changed time and i had to rush down.
people with no life has nothing extravagant to talk about.

reeve asked for a lullaby, and i gave him one right in his tagboard. i wrote it myself according to his latest entry. kinda stupid lah huh. last minute write leh, don hiam hor.

saw this from fcukling...

INTRODUCING... BIANCA RYAN!
this video made me cry for no reason. her voice is unbelievable, like what the judge said.

the thing is, SHES FREAKING 11 YEARS OLD!!


entry to airport will be up tomorrow. (:

;i am afraid


oh yes im back, and a captain to be. (: thanks to Phileo, i went to catch Pirates of the Carribean, so pardon me for still being into it. HAHA! Orlando Bloom so SHUAI! xD


OMG!


the girl is called Keira Knightley and is starring as Elizabeth Swann

if you haven't seen it, go for it alright. YAY!!

anyway, went to the airport in the early afternoon to send my momma off to Chicago. meanwhile, had lunch at 三盅两件 (soup restaurant).


the half eaten 白斩鸡 'bai zhan ji'


scallop and black chicken soup!


my favourite kang kong! xO


*saliva drip* =p


my mum's candid shot (:




im bored. haha, bro tryin to pose.


i tried. =/


looking weird here. whats with the stupid smile?

he tries again. xD


me too!

mango ice cream at swensen's. all my favs lah. HAHA.


banana crumble!! apple taste better. we couldn't finish it anyway.


my dad wanted this for a change.



like father like son. they love the fries

i'll be so dead without momma, she must wake me up. how. =/

;i am afraid


it has been almost 2 weeks since i blog. nobody misses this anyway...

i've done everything i need to do and i feel alittle better. school, choir, tuition and church filled up my life, made me busy and somehow made me stop looking for you in the crowd. i know you hate church... but every prayer i said with my heart is meant for you. i thank Lord for bringing you into me and never blame for taking you away but question him for you.

there's this guest speaker at the church last night and he spoke about relationships with people.

'being good is a choice while turning bad is a influence.', 'you do not determine the views people have on you, the people around you does.'

its quite a long talk, for about a hour and a half so i cant really remember much.

school is busy, so is choir... im so far apart again, like the day to PHS. was so angry although i tried, life was meant to be unfair. but i never expect this change where i dont feel the belonging to them. everything is wrong.

也许我只是自己骗自己，以为我还可以拥有你，最后才知道这只是个哄小孩的骗局。
也许。。。 我根本不是你的唯一， 你只是不想伤害我而已。

谢谢你的陷阱。。。

;i am afraid